Bottoms up.

Er…just realized I made a post about fucking TV before I did about something presumably more important to my life: I’ve got an admittance to a place that I think will be like a hand in glove. I can hardly believe it, because I fell down flat on my face with the interviews. I felt really dumb compared to everyone else at the recruitment weekend and I feel incredibly unworthy, but dammit, I’m going to try my best to make them not regret their decision.

OH, MY FUCKING GOD. Episodes five and six of Being Human have caused this program to take over my life. I have yet to give five a rundown because there’s just so much to say about it and I want to do it justice and I’ve just watched six on the BBC iPlayer (BLESS YOU, 24 HOUR EARLY SNEAK PREVIEW) after a night of rewatching one through five to convert a friend. AND I JUST FEEL UTTERLY MAD. I’m so fucking pumped about this whole thing and I’ll be driven even madder by having to wait a whole bloody year for the second series (at least there is one!). All I can do right now is melt into a fragile fangirl puddle. WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SHOW SO AWESOME GAHHHHH.

Six is also very, very much deserving a thorough treatment, but I must blab about this immediately: poor Nina! Somehow, I hope it isn’t true, that perhaps George hadn’t fully turned yet so it doesn’t count, but I think this is extraordinary wishful thinking. Guh, but it will make for delicious drama in the future.

Also, the blog for Being Human is amazing. Thank goodness I live in a day and age that allows me to get a wraparound view of the show and connection to tons of fans like me. Toby Whithouse’s weekly answers to viewers’ questions is a brilliant idea and done just right. For instance, now I have it from the horse’s mouth that the pilot is canon and that George and Nina (I guess pre-werewolf Nina?) would not have werewolf babies assuming George was not transformed at the time (which uh, considering the substance of his affliction, would be the only way, huh?).

Though on that, the pilot is canon! Whithouse claims that nothing in the pilot contradicts the series, which, off the top of my head, seems to be correct, but it’s certainly awkward. People repeating themselves such as replay of the complaining about the undrunk cups of tea, or of relaying to Annie what happened between George and Julia. The change in personality of Mitchell/Annie from Guy Flanagan/Andrew Riseborough to Aidan Turner/Lenora Crichlow. Little odd, but I’m so in thrall with this show that I am more than to pave over it with rainbows.

God, this is starting to be like They Live, which I really think I need to actually see rather than just know it in broad strokes because I read the Wikipedia article. There must be some subliminal shit hiding in the frequencies.

Just…fuck, I’m done. *faints like Nina after rumpy-pumpy with George*

I knew the crash was going to come and here it is.

I feel wretched, but I’ve got a barnload of things to take care of so it’ll be a while until I find a fine and private place to blubber.

Actually, considering my roommate will be home, the only place I can really think of is the lab’s tank room. I need to tend to some things there anyway, but it’ll be a bit bizarre to be there at like 10:00pm, crying and filling fish tanks.

But I’ll take what I can get.

Also, while I know a man is marked by how he recovers from failure, I have no desire at the moment to go into proactive mode. Normally it’s not much to ask for a bit of time to wallow, but as I’m flying away again on Thursday, there’s very little allowance for taking care of this emotional shit.

I knew it was finally going to happen one of these days and then, bam, it did.

I had this beautiful long entry that I was writing up, and one errant click of the X and it’s gone into the ether. I’ll try my damndest to give a reproduction, but it’s just not going to contain the same kind of joie de vivre that getting it down fresh has.

So please bear with me:

FFFUUUCCCK YOU, BEING HUMAN, you fucking reel me out and then you cut the string.

Which is to say, I LOVE YOU.

Let me first summarize by saying that the George and Annie storylines were excellent, and that the one with Mitchell has me fucking tied up in knots.

Okay, so I’m still deciding whether or not I like those opening monologue-y things that happen before the title card comes up. On the one hand, they sometimes offer some handy exposition, and can make for a nice apéritif to the episode. But, they can also be clunky and sanctimonious. At least for this episode, it was more the latter, and the thing with Mitchell "walking" through his various looks was cheesy. Not just for what it was, but the effects weren’t so great either. He’s moving so stiffly in that part! And not in a metaphorical kind of way, like one that ties in with his army outfit, like if he were goose-stepping and that symbolized conformity or cold inhumanity or something, but it just looks like they couldn’t afford a treadmill and poor Aidan Turner had to march in place in front of a blue screen. That, or some other technical limitation due to the morphing costume changes (for which the hair/make-up/wardrobe weren’t done well anyway). But you know, BBC Three, shoestring budget, it’s not worth dwelling on because I bet they’re doing the best they can with what they have. The song they’re playing is inexcusable, though. Ah, looked it up, it’s Too Sick to Pray by Alabama 3 a.k.a. A3 in the US because of legal issues; apparently they’re also the guys who did the theme for The Sopranos. Shit, man, when are they going to use Common People? People were all disappointed that it wasn’t included in the first episode (it was in the pilot, but I personally have no recollection of that), but I’m hoping it gets whipped out in the final episode.

Anyhow, as to the actual content of this episode, let’s get to the big one: Fucking Mitchell. While I’m glad that the Lauren was kept to a minimum, I would have loved to have her back if it would’ve spared us from the butt-craziness of the events of episode four. While I liked the idea of having Mitchell hit his highest high of human-ness and fall into the deep, deep trough of vampire-ness all within one episode, the execution was off. I mean, his becoming buddies with Bernie was adorable, and the resultant pedo cataclysm was inevitable, but I don’t like how they got there. First of all, I must ask the same question George asked, "Why hide it [the vampire porno DVD] in Laurel and Hardy?!" Makes no fucking sense. And then there’s all the suffering and the neighbors turning against them and all that, which leads into the all-too-predictable yet still totally fucking illogical climax of Bernie running away, getting hit by a car, and dying. But Mitchell, being what he is, offers the mum the chance to bring him back, and the twit lets him! WHAT THE FUCK!! BAD PARENTING. The look of dawning realization that crosses the mother’s face when her son says, "I’m hungry," is sublime, though. She’s going to regret her decision so much, and if the kid comes back later, my money’s on her having become lunch at some point. I also like that the writers didn’t wuss out and ran with this shit, taking it to the next logical step: Mitchell rejoining the killers (I would’ve been tempted to give up on this show had they copped out). Points for how they’re developing Herrick, too—from the beginning when he calls Mitchell on abandoning Lauren to going to see him in the hospital to get Mitchell to cave into using Herrick’s police powers to even just Jason Watkins’s creepy fucker smile when Mitchell comes crawling back.

As to George, I’m really starting to warm up to his relationship with Nina. Perhaps they are breaking that rule about one partner being way better looking than the other, but I do feel that Nina is a strong woman and can offer George the support he needs. I also can’t wait to see the shit hit the fan when he reveals that he’s a werewolf to her. Actually, whether he sits her down and tells her or she catches him at the wrong time, I think it’ll end well, unlike what happened with his fiancée in the pilot (which I’m counting as canon, since the incident was alluded to in episode one). And of course, this episode had a ton of moments with George being sweet/dorky/heartbreaking to watch, but I’d like to call special attention to when Nina comes to the house and George calls the neighbors cretins for spelling pedo with two E’s. George is a fucking genius (they outright said so in the pilot, but it’s been slipped in here and there), but it’s very rarely brought up even though I would imagine George would be depressed about having to settle for being a hospital porter. Maybe I need to give the writers credit for being able to discriminate between someone who’s really smart and someone who’s just pedantic, but who am I fucking kidding, those two traits have some pretty darn high coincidence, so it’s nice to see that they haven’t forgotten that part of him. I guess it was done a bit better in the previous episode, though, when there’s been a fire at the international house dorm or something and they need interpreters and George rolls off the list of languages he knows. Oh, another random George thing while we’re at it: they used Hounds of Love by The Futureheads in episode two, I think (it was coming out of the radio at a diner, if I’m remembering rightly), and it was such a wonderful little shout-out to George, not to mention it always makes me happy to see songs I love used well in a soundtrack.

And the Annie stuff was great. Her being a poltergeist was perfect, and then her finally getting her shit together by the end was a total girl power moment (and I really liked the juxtaposition of the chaos of the accident with her elation at being visible again).

Anywhoodle, very excited overall, can’t wait until next week, yackity schmackity hooray, my roommate probably thinks I’m the most annoying shit ever now because not only do I talk at the computer screen while I watch this show, but I also obsessively abuse the five-second rewind function in Winamp.

Guh, I should feel happy, or at the very least okay right now, but I’m just depressed! Got some free food, talked to some graduate students here, what do I have to complain about?

The best way I can describe my discomfort is that I feel like a man out of time. As in, a fish out of water. Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court.

But even that’s not it. I feel out of place, yes, but mostly I feel uncertain. A little mix of "I don’t know what the fuck is going on" with "Fuck this shit."

Well, anyway, in general, I know this to be another iteration of my general malaise—that feeling of alienation. Wanting to belong, wanting to be liked, but hampered in achieving that in some way.

I suppose part of it is trust. I always suspect people are being nice, rather than just telling me what they actually think of me.

And as I was writing this, I thought to myself, "Cor, there’s a new episode of Being Human tonight!"

And then through the proper channels, I watched it, and felt much joy.

A lot of horror. But a lot of joy, too.

For example, George and Nurse Nina action! Like, from episode two, it was overbearingly obvious they were going to hook up (I did not approve), and I guess the dinner thing was cute, but then all the bedroom awkwardness and getting dirty in a hospital examining room was sort of like a bad sitcom. I did enjoy George’s animalistic grunting/moaning and um…how much they enjoyed doggy style, but overall I was like "THIS IS NOT FOR REAL" face.

A super ho-yay moment (all the spoken innuendo-y stuff is regular old ho-yay): George and Mitchell’s mistaken embrace on the couch as Annie returns from her trip to the cemetery with Gilbert. Bonus points for having Girlfriend in a Coma on.

Needless to say, I approve of Gilbert’s musical tastes. The falling in love with Annie thing I couldn’t totally buy, but even so, I got choked up when he crossed over. I wish he could’ve stuck around longer!

Speaking of choked up, poor fucking Annie! I was a mess when she was being Owen’s "wife," and then you watch her death scene and it’s like "AWW, FUCK."

And Lauren is Lauren is Lauren. She gave me some good insight into thinking about vampirism as an addiction to blood, but her actions at the end just make me press down harder when I write her name in my TV character shit list (note: list does not actually exist, I am not that loserish, okay).

But I suppose getting back to me being all lousy with the glum, I’m slowly, slowly getting my fingers into Beck. I know I am totally fucking late to the party. I borrowed Sea Change from the library like three years ago and liked it pretty good (a friend was really into Lost Cause, and I ended up liking The Golden Age and Paper Tiger a lot, too—should really go back and take a good hard listen; I recently found out the album is about a break-up, and I love a personal story). And of course there was Everybody’s Gotta Learn Sometimes from Eternal Sunshine but being a cover I had a hard time gauging how much was him, how much was the Korgis, and how much was Jon Brion (though I can tell you that his cover makes me want to shake and tremble, while the original leaves me a little cold, especially in the chorus). And I would spend high school mornings watching the video for Girl, enjoying the Al Jaffee Mad Magazine fold-in video. And hell, even as a wee one I was aware of him (Loser, Where It’s At, Devils Haircut…especially the first two, courtesy of good old Pop-Up Video; the third was more in that the opening riff was ubiquitous incidental music), and had some interest in The New Pollution.

You know, considering all that, I don’t know why I didn’t think he was pretty fucking good. Anyhow, rooting around for some other track, I came upon Vampire Voltage No. 6, and it is just sublime. It matches my mood right now very much. Has a bit of an old sound to it, like it’s been recorded on a cassette tape. Dreamy, childlike instrumentation, and Beck’s lovely pipes for the first half, then a fabulously melodic anguished thrash-about that carries themes from the earlier part. I’ve heard Modern Guilt is Sea Change with Danger Mouse, so it seems like it should be a stunner. I just gave Chemtrails a spin and though I didn’t love it, it was pretty darn good. How does one guy contain all that talent? Jesus!

Anyhow, interviews are tomorrow, and I have to be up at the bright and early, so it’s best that I move along.

Okay okay okay! Just watched episode two of Being Human. I’m just going to throw shit at the wall and see what sticks.

Top of the box: In-depth description of George’s transformation. Being all into gory details, it was a nice surprise and I enjoyed it.

Tully and George. Tully is totally gay for George. In a not good kind of way (example of the good way: House and Wilson). A little sympathy for him considering how miserable it must be to lose everything and be alone for so long, but fuck, he’s such a perv and prick and manipulative douchebag and all-around terrible guy at present. He was kind of cute when he was encouraging George after his fiasco with wardsister Nina, but ugh, I was kind of hoping George would let him die on the noose, as out of character as that would be (what he did to Annie was 100% not on). Disappointed in George for letting himself get sweet-talked, but gosh, can’t expect him to be perfect.

God, George was delicious in the scene when he’s talking to Mrs. James in the hospital on his day off. That whole scene was great, really, what with Nina getting all flustered and the perfect little bit of sync at the end when she turns to look at him go (and she pulls at a wisp of hair) and you can hear a zipper closing.

I should also mention that the George and Tully transformation scene was fucking terrifying. Poor Russell Tovey must spend hours in the make-up chair putting on all that prosthetic junk, too.

Annie development was all right, I guess. Necessary stuff, but not too exciting. Didn’t like that she was so quick to like Tully…how can you not smell the skeez coming off of him?? The crazed run through the streets of Bristol also seemed a little out of place to me.

And I finally like Aidan Turner as Mitchell. Good stuff for the character, too, though it’s so frustrating how easy it is for him to give in to his thirst. I know it’s not the case, but sometimes it doesn’t even seem like he’s trying! I know it’s a bit of a tightrope walk to get the right balance between hitting us over the head with his struggle and just letting the action roll, but at least in this episode, I think some scenes hit the mark while others didn’t. One that did? The girl in the bathroom, who had a big gash in her finger from cutting cake. The way he can’t hear her while he’s looking at the wound, and having to pull the stopper out of the sink as he herds her out into mixed company. That’s good. Not so much? When he fishes in the trash can for Lauren’s kill DVD (some bad continuity there, too—when George picks up the disc in the foyer, the back of the DVD is that indigo color that DVD-R’s have, but when Mitchell gets it out of the bin, the back is plain old reflective clear white or greenish white like on CD-R’s). "You can check out, but you can never leave." Ugh. Terrible line (sue me, I hate that fucking song) and then the look he gives, like he isn’t even thinking about stopping himself. It just seems inconsistent.

Fucking Lauren. She is still a dumb ass ho. I saw a clip on YouTube of her trying to drink some blood from the hospital, which makes me think she decides to reform or some shit at some point, which at least gives me some hope that her character will get a little more meat to work with.

Herrick…is a creepy motherfucker. Good job! He looks like a pedo, though, which adds a whole other dimension of unsettling-ness to him.

Anyhow, lot of shouting at my screen this week, mostly of "NO NO NO." But take it as a sign of how involved I am. God, I love this show.

In other news, schoolwork’s a fucking mess, research has come to a grinding halt because I am a lazy shit, and graduate school interviews are killing my soul bit by precious bit. In happier news, I did very well on my physics midterm (test-taking skills, baby, I was born knowing how to milk as many points as I possibly can), I’m a finalist for the Fulbright (really? why?), and my Japanese teacher wants me to participate in some crazy speech contest which would mean having to stay in Chicago longer and shortening the amount of time I get to vacation at home. I think he just wants me to do it as a confidence booster for me since I’m pretty timid when it comes to my speaking, but you know, a nice gesture is a nice gesture. I’m wrinkling my nose a little, though, because I’m losing out on some marginal utility since I’m going to have to go through the hassle of rescheduling a friggin’ flight when I don’t even have a real chance of winning. Okay, I know I’m being a negative poo right now, but I’m very sleep deprived and I have a problem set due tomorrow that I haven’t even started and I have gruesome physics lab tomorrow and after that I’ll have to memorize a speech and study for my Japanese midterm. I fear my charlatan’s ruse is getting beyond my control. I said I was going to fake it until I make it. I guess I’ve made it, but I still feel like a fake!

Oh, also, after my interviews are finished (I hope), me and a friend are going to spend an epic day eating in Chicago and then we’re going to go watch Twilight and then have a sleepover. That’s about three weeks from now. So much money down the toilet (and so much expansion of the waistline), but there is always tomorrow for penitence.